Here is an article written by Barbara Graham on Grandparents.com. She asked the question, "Are boomer grandparents different than their parents? Read the article and the comment I posted below. Do you agree??? Here is the beginning paragraph:
loved my son and my brother's kids — just as her mother loved us — but neither woman seemed as gaga and blotto about their grandchildren as my friends and I are. My mother and my grandmother didn't seem to obsess and worry the way we do, either.
This is a wonderful and thoughtful article. We all have a different approach to family dynamics. I personally am a grandma that thinks that distance is a good thing for children and grandchildren. My husband and I spend half of our year in Oregon near family and the other half in Arizona. It is a good healing time for all of us.
As a result of the choices my husband I have made, our children have grown more independent and are solving their problems without us lurking in the background.
Don't misunderstand me...we love our grandchildren more that we can even believe. We just know what we must do. Our parents gave us the opportunity to grow into strong parents and we want to do the same for our children.
This all ties into our mother-in-law position in the family. This might be more significant than the relationship to our grandchildren. The example we set for our family can be distorted because of a poor relationship with our child's spouse. Related article "10 Ways to be a Good Mother/Father-in-Law"