Mar 27, 2015
Mar 26, 2015
Then one day I limped into Target and noticed those red handicapped shopping cart. It had been over a week of pain and no one was looking that day. I qualified for one of those I told myself and I sat down.
Still, I was not sure if I was ready to do the cart thing so it didn't happen without a fight..."the cart will not go" I said sounding like a spoiled child. I stood up wincing as I put weight on that wounded knee. I was such a good sufferer. My husband reached over and unplugged the cart giving me that look because then it ran just fine.
As I drove off toward the curtains I had set out to buy, I realized what a wonderful thing those red carts are. They can turn on a dime and have a big basket so I can buy lots of stuff. And the view...really there is a whole other world visible when you are sitting down. The only problem I had was avoiding running over children when I turned a corner. My husband walked ahead to make sure it was all clear.
HUMMMM I thought, I may just be onto something.
And did you know that, when you are wounded, people are really nice to you? Seriously, they open doors, let you get in line early and generally are concerned about how you are doing. Who knew? I am surprised that people don't take advantage of this situation! Maybe they do.
I am much better now. Wonder of wonders, I bought a cane and some support hose yesterday! They are both great and I am a very lucky woman today. We leave for a month long trip that will take us to Florence, Italy and then to Dubai. Wish me luck...but I don't really think I'll need it.
Stay tuned for the further adventures of b+. Hopefully, I won't need any chairs with wheels but if I do, I will do it with grace and style. After all that is what I am all about...that and cussing!
Note: I would like to add a disclaimer here...while being in that much pain was not good I think this experience has given me a different feeling about coming to the place when I might need some help later permanently. I think it will only be what I make of it. I realize now how hard it is for older people to give into their disabilities. I am sure that, like me, they think they will be "just fine".
I also drew hope from seeing what others have accomplished with rehab. It kept me going when I began to think that I may be unable to function later.
Mar 22, 2015
|Image from Amazon|
Book available here: Return to Viet Nam:
One Veteran's Journey of Healing.
The story of Art's battlefield in Vietnam took my breath away. His account guided me step by step through the one day of battle he experienced during the 1968 Tet Offensive was that compelling.
As a result of that one day, he suffered from PTSD at what the US government finally recognized as the 60% level. His disability lead to alcoholism, divorce and 35 years of nightmares and anxiety. His is a story that could be told a thousand times over by other veterans like himself from all those wars past.
The books takes the reader on a day by day journey through the countryside, into the hills and across the Mekong Delta. You will visit the homes and learn about traditions, the Viet Cong and the spiritual experiences encountered.
Finding a way to meet the challenges of this journey was not easy for Art. But he knew that meetings with vet support groups, counseling and Linda, his second wife, working for his recovery was not enough. In the end, Art decided with the encouragement of Linda to return to Vietnam and revisit his past, hopefully for a final time. The goal was to in some way replace the past with the present.
|Jan on the right followed us for|
3 days. It seemed she just wanted to be
close and speak English with us. She could
not read or write...really.
It may have been his hope that the vets he knew could have that same experience. However, he learned that many other vets cannot find a way to do that. They hold onto their misery forever. He told about the veterans in his support group and their reaction to his journey:
Art: I thought it it was a good idea to let the vet group know how much better I was feeling and how much less anxiety I had to go through. When I got back I went a couple of times to the group. When I came back from [the]Vietnam [War] the first time, I was rejected by most people for having served. And it felt the same way going back to the vet group. Some of them - the ones who were still living in the past - didn't seem to want to move on. Some were supportive and glad that I did it, but they didn't want to go themselves.
|Dwelling totally open|
even though the temp lingers at
around 45 degrees f.
On the other side of the coin, loud speakers that woke us at an early hour with instructions in Vietnamese for the local citizen's day reminded us that Communism is alive and well.
We stood with the Montagnard People that spoke perfect English. We visited a place called Sa Pa located in northernmost part of the country. For all appearances their life had not changed since the beginning of time. However a large parade square and the obligatory loudspeakers on electric post told of those war years. Even the French villas that dotted the hillsides were a reminder of a history put to rest. Art's story was one I could see in my mind's eye.
Art came to know that his story could have been told by a Vietnam veteran as easily as by himself. I may be wrong but I also think that the thing he struggled the hardest with was not what he did but how our country and his commanders appeared to have failed our soldiers. His experience could have been typical on the battle field. Friendly fire, a few men left to do a very big job and no recognition for the horror they endured. He knew that it was not what he would have ever chosen...not at all. It has been very hard to let go of.
So, if your are interested in a history lesson on the Vietnam War told by a Marine that lived the story, I recommend you read this little book. It is very well written. You will not regret it.
Thank you to Art and Linda Myer for the donations of these books they have made to various veterans groups. I know it has helped. Linda is a friend of mine. As for Art, after reading this book I will see him in a whole new light...one filled with respect and awe! I am very proud to know him.
Mar 19, 2015
OK, here it is...the room is very nearly completed. A few details will have to wait until next fall but it is looking beautiful! My husband is a dear man that makes my dreams come true. I love that guy.
Remember I told you that I was working along side him working long hours and feeling great. I am stronger than ever and, of course, very proud of what we have accomplished. The door leading out of the back of the room to a patio was the last thing to be done so we are glad that is finished. Unfortunately, that was when I stumbled over building debris and whacked my knee...s. Now after a week of healing, the bruise is moving down my leg and I am sitting up in bed giving my k-nee some rest.
So what does one do when you are a week away from a months vacation in Europe and the Dubai? You tell me! I do know that after I fell I said sh*t, sh*t, sh*t all day. Since then I have just powered through. Staying off the leg has not been possible for most of the time but now I don't think I have a choice. The same man that built this beautiful room has said he will wait on me for a while. All I can do is say thank you and hope against hope that I actually get so see the inside of the cathedrals and museums. If not I will make do.
Our grandson just finished his Bachelors of Engineering program as Oregon State and is traveling with us. Our son from Dubai will be with us all the time. My husband has worked so hard and researched this trip from top to bottom. My main job is to just stay out of the way and watch them revel in this experience. Wish me luck!
The cussing is over and I have a new appreciation for the courage of Wounded Warriors and broken people everywhere. I will keep you in the loop and post about the vacation as often as possible. Stay tuned...things are never boring around here!
Have a wonderful day.
Mar 18, 2015
Michael Graves passed away this last week. I didn't know Graves personally...well I did hear a little tidbit of gossip about him 20 years ago but I don't suppose that counts. Yet that man is a hero of mine in a way. This postmodernist architect understood that the elderly and handicapped may be limited in their movement but they are not limited in their appreciation of all things beautiful. I always thought he knew that even the most mundane object could use a little humor and glitz. I liked that a lot.
See Graves was afflicted with an infection several years ago that left him wheelchair bound. His world became all about getting into the shower or moving from room to room. Instead of curling up into a ball and dying he set about making that new world he lived in beautiful as well as functional. In an article written for the Wear Design Bureau he talked about his Wounded Warrior project and how his life goals changed after his paralysis:
In the months following that fated February night, there was much that propelled Graves through his recovery, including his resolve not to die in the hospital because it was “so ugly.” Having progressed through eight hospitals and four rehabilitation centers, the architect was all too familiar with the design failings of our healthcare system. On his first day in a wheelchair, Graves was given the challenge to dress and shave himself. “That was extraordinary for me,” he says. “I couldn’t turn on the water, I couldn’t plug in the razor, I couldn’t look in the mirror. And this is a hospital very well known for therapy. At that point I said to myself, ‘I am going to do something about this. I am a designer, I’m an architect; I’ve got the bully pulpit.’”One of Graves most notable building projects is located in the city where I live. The Portland Building in the center of Portland stands as a testament to the architects ability to reinvent the way we look at the world around us. I have often thought that the building hinted of Walt Disney and Ayn Rand. It is just so unusually I cannot help but smile when I look at it. Long time Portlanders are still getting used to it's appearance.
But for me Graves was so much more. He somehow knew that we all need beauty no matter where we are. An elderly person should not be subjected to "ugly" in their home and certainly not in a hospital or care facility. Humor, color, unique design go a long way in helping the healing process.
I have always thought I would recognized the Graves design no matter where I saw it. I loved the Target tea kettles and I think this wheelchair is nothing short of amazing. It was one of his first designs following his illness. Michael was 80. The man will be greatly missed.
Just a thought.
Mar 8, 2015
|The floor is now up to the level |
of the bottom of this small door.
The wood paneling hid more metal siding.
The "room" had become our virtual basement and things we did not want or couldn't decide if we wanted went there to live. I cleaned it about once a season, ironed occasionally and generally ignored the fact that it existed.
Then one day about a month ago my husband gave in to my nagging and we began the job of making the room livable. We bought lumber, had it delivered and he started the job assuring me that I would not need to leave the main part of the house. He would do it all!
I would wander in several time a day as the project began and one day I said that I wished that I could do what he was doing. It just looked like fun to me. I must have sounded so pathetic so he let me help as much as I could. My husband encouraged me to use the electric screwdriver and even a hammer. I followed him around like a faithful dog picking up wood, handing him hammers and giving my silly advice. It was so much fun. I felt like I was a kid again.
On that first day I remember feeling absolutely drained and when I looked at the clock it was 2:30 in the afternoon, I asked if we could quit. My husband either did not hear me or chose to ignore the plea. So I drank a glass of water and kept on moving until it was too dark to work anymore. Now we have been at it for over 3 weeks.
I have discovered that my talent does not lie in measuring or even nailing but give me a crow bar and a bunch of stuff to tear down and I am just dynamite. I don't know how that speaks to my finesse or creativity but I suppose it is all part of the process. So now we are in the final stages, trim work is being put up and I am going back to Home Depot to buy another gallon of paint. I do love paint a lot.
|All the metal siding has been removed...I loved that part!|
It is almost over I think but then I thought it was "almost over" three weeks ago so don't quote me. When I asked my husband when we would be done he got that hopeful look on his face. I think he was wishing I would be ready to quit long before the project was complete. Poor man...he is just such an optimist. I will keep you post and I may even get a picture or two up for you to see.
By the way, this is just an update on the blog post How to Feel Younger in a Week. I really am much strong and I think my worth has increased in my husband's eyes. You should give something like this a try...you might like it a lot.
Mar 4, 2015
|Even the cactus sprouts a new idea once in a while!|
I have vowed to stop talking about retirement because I didn't feel like talking about it any more. The same applied to aging. Now I have worn out all my insightful wisdom about travel, open mindedness and even all things beautiful.
The fact may be that my creative nature will have to look for new things to write about. Do you have any ideas? Let me know!
I published this article 4 years ago but most of it is still relevant. I hope it is helpful. I love being a snow bird. But I wish someone h...
Life is a lot different when it is viewed from the rear view mirror. The fact that everything is backwards in real time reveals what we ...
I loved Kitty Bartholomew on HGTV! I know that dates me but I cannot help it. In fact, I woke up the other day thinking how much I missed th...