Aging: On Cussing and Being a Total Fraud!

Cover of "Phooey!"
Cover of Phooey!

I have to admit it. I can swear but I try to keep it a secret. I am a total fraud and Google knows it. I found that out after I wrote this article.

I know, the word cussing is old fashioned but just work with me here. Cussing is what we called it back in the day. In fact, cussed (cuss-said) was a swear word back then. We would call mean old men those cussed old guys or a dog that bit that cussed dog.

I didn't hear many really bad words in my day. My mother said dang once in a while. But I must have heard some bad words somewhere. My mother claimed I said dammit over and over while I jumped up and down on the bed. I was in trouble for jumping and cussing. It was not a good day I don't think. Then I claimed that my Auntie Ardella said it all the time. My Auntie was a saint and I am sure she never used a bad word in her entire life. I probably was guilty of lying too. I don't remember doing any of that at all.

My father always cussed in the basement when he hit his thumb with a hammer or cut a board too short twice. However, he was out of earshot at least as far as understanding the words were concerned. I did hear him call his bosses SOBs a time or two but since I could not spell it didn't matter.

When I discovered that sometime things went wrong, I was frustrated. That was when I learned a few bad words...fiddle sticks, dog-gone-it, shoot, phooey and later what in the Sam Hill? 

I always felt a little guilty when I lost control but lose control I did! And my vocabulary became more colorful as time passed. I have spent a lifetime trying to overcome this very bad habit. As I grow older I have discovered that cussing makes me feel dumb so I save the really bad words for my private frustrations. But, occasionally, a bad word or phrase will slip out in normal everyday conversation. I am generally on the golf course. Dear me, I sound like a sailor or a person that was raised by wolves. That is not good.

But it is getting less stressful for me these days. My parents are gone, my children are not perfect, my husband never listens and I manage to remain a total fraud among my acquaintances. My close friends forgive me. I am grateful for that!

Unfortunately Google sees right through me. I was a little taken aback when I saw that they recommended f*__k in the labels. Really? Honestly, that is one word I have never used!

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Comments

  1. As always, I love your attitude and wish we were neighbors.

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  2. I love to cuss. I can't help it!!!

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    Replies
    1. I saw a writer that said he liked the way a cuss word fell off his tongue. I try not to act like I have a problem with self control but in truth it is hopeless. I suppose I may as well embrace my quirks...!

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  3. Too funny. I remember there was a childhood song with a chorus, Amsterdam, and we all thought we were naughty when we sang it. Times change!

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    Replies
    1. I understand that totally. I even had a hard time calling a dam a dam!

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  4. Love your self-disclosure. My daughters teach me how to cuss with abandon. WTF.

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    Replies
    1. Me too. They also taught me not to iron, a mess is perfectly okay and how to be a b*%*ch. It turned out they were a fountain of information. My grandchildren are picking right off where they left off!

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